lessons

Well we learn lessons every day , signs from every thing , we stupid signs , That just press that Button the last 1 , that sends you recalling, with rage!!!!Anger at how you made me feel , If yous`e truly knew how yous`e made me feel believe me , yous`e could not look any 1 in the eye`s again.
You asked once or twice probably thrice , Probably even more , you asked so much , got so much wrong, How could you not believe, In Me nope, You couldn`t , I am sorry but now , i will cannot,
Come back , There truly is nothing worse than an old fool .
Did you think i would not know of your lies , your plying for sympathy , O I gave , Did i give ,
i did not look  for any return, I learn`t you did, You had the odds You thought , stacked so high,
Yes they were stacked hi but not how you think, your thinking ??, It is so wrong , Your mouth,
leaves a horrible taste in mines , the verbal Diarrhea, The Extracting of Urine is Over . I have been lead , like a loyal lamb to the slaughter, It is good though ,, Hurts so good to know, All that you , think,
You so know!! Is O So Wrong, Especially of me, I have no time left for games , I told you, Warned
You even, You chose to keep kicking , Why , why do you feel so angry that you have to hurt me!!
Play God with My Emotions with My LIFE, With everything in my life you have a comment,.
O so so sad , you throw the biggest of stones from your own back yard !!! No wonder they are so big the Skeletons in Your Cupboard , I never relay asked , but the story`s , i have been told , I should never have come back, Phone , that is as far as it should have went , you honestly do not see,.
So caught up in Your own Selfish Life , not a thought for others unless its to put the boot in.
O so sad , This is a vicious cycle that i am totally removing myself from, I am and Now i have ,
Higher beings are at work , you stick to your questioning , Me i want answers, So I cannot stick to,
The 1 thing , when so many other causes are needing addressed , and if you address, some of the others the rest will have a domino effect , & All will work out , that is??, if there, is not a war first,.
Wars are erupting all aver the world , The Officials around the war are starting , or have started their war on Us the Public the Ordinary Joe . We have been fighting a war for years without bullets,
We have been Surviving their System , Surviving their sacrifices, some are lucky to Escape,
Once they have you in their Evil Clasp it is hard to break free, If this is all you know, Where do you go,
You relay do not know, till someone , shines some light on this your darkest of hours, it could be anyone, From Any were , It could also be Anything , an animal , some light comes in all forms an guises & Signs , . You learn from life to spot these things , they are important , if you miss them , you miss so much , You might even , stop the flow of your being , I know from my experiences that i missed a lot, Due to letting Myself be led. I thought i had no light , I thought so little of myself , I could have crawled under a snake . I had to Stand Tall or i would have sunk , that is for sure,
And weee canny be having that , O No , For I need to be bright and Bushy tailed for this fight.
That comes next , with now all the hindsight , my Knowledge is extensive, i am Proud to say ,
I`m far from knowing everything or ever it all , I wish i did know it all , Believe me!!, I would help us all. If i could do it all in one swoop believe , I would try if I even knew how , that is Why I give
everything , my all, too my own cost, my heart gets Hurt a lot , The tears are As if easier to flow now, I could not do this before , I could not cry for Love Nor Money But Now, I just need to think of a time with you, you or you. & they come a flowing at How stupid I have Been , O the shame of it all.
No ITS NOT SHAME !!!!!!!!! Far from it , Its all MY GAIN, You would never understand so i would never ever even try to explain it to you, As a matter i will see you on the other side. Were I will have the right Questions to ask this Time. o yes I definitely will have the right questions , are you going to be brave enough to give me the truthful answers no more lies, From your head to your dirty mouth.
I feel you need a bar of Soap to clean that foulness, Out, Of your Life all together , it Doesn`t suit ,
You and never did , just like me I dont suit you , Unless it suits you , then all is OK.
No , am sorry that is not how it works , you have to give a little back , not sit back, and wait,
and then mock , she phoned again hahah, Ye am going , am going to see what i can get, You done relay well. You done so well , I gave you lots for near nothing in return, I did not want or come looking for any thing at all, Why did i find all that i found, I believe nothing happens for nothing , there is no coincidences in life. Every thing has a reason , a lesson . That My Dear Friend Is Life.
Its time to part ways , I am not for just to suit, No I have a purpose, even am not clear on yet,
I Just know i am not on this earth for nothing, and all that i have lived and been through , has not all been for nothing. I am definitely not having you, rubbish and dissect, Stuff you have no knowledge of at all, You stick to what  you know, I will stick to what i know, Thanks once again , For enlightening me , Of the things you did , I already knew a lot of what you tried to show me, You would not look at what i tried to show you, You had it in your head , I am Just stupid , no sorry I am far from It as you
know now , You had more than your fair share of me, I gave you more than enough.
I even put you first, No wonder everyone close to me were acting the way they were, People told
me , what are you doing with him, I thought you were O so different, O what a fool i was , yip that book Men r definitely from Mars , cause they are definitely not of this plane, This Earth , this time,
or is it just me , because i am a woman , i feel this way , no its not am afraid to say , its from my experiences, You try to control the woman its not Cave man times, Get a grip i am also not of,
teenage years , My brain might act it sometimes , but that is when all around me seems so silly,
and it was , so i will act the clown , for to even change the subject, maybe I am , maybe its a me bad , but that is how i have got to this age , is being able to clear , cobwebs, of self doubt, Learning to
Shine wasn`t relay that hard , its the ones round about you, they want to pull you back down.
Sorry i have been there wore that T shirt 1 too many times , i threw that T shirt away , I was sick to the back Teeth of People playing GOD, With my LIFE. I tried to break free, It wasn`t to be,
for i needn`t of feared , I only had to decipher my dreams, My path was made clearer for me,
At first i thought, the waters too muddy , I felt as if i had concrete boots on too, I pulled from every corner, every nerve in my Body UP UP & FIGHT. I stumbled and felt blindly for ways to go,
some light came in all different forms and guises, All different. Every day though i grew stronger, and within my self a feeling of Inner peace & Contentment , yes its cost me dearly to be able to write these words, that is LIFE. I Only Share, so if you ever, come across, any thing like ,my Bridges, at least you know, someone, else has been, were you "feel," you are at right now in Life.
Yes life is for the living but never disrespect the dead , That is just down right Crass and disgusting.
Not to worry though , its a place or a thing we are all going to do , So do, or will, meet! on the other side.
Or did you just say that so i would go back, I would have went back too, Like the fool that I have been. No More taking me for a fool , You made that mistake and you know or knew it for you even,
write , you should of listened and believed in me more. maybe you were my Guide , My light , Only,
Supposedly for a little while. You would not let me go though , ever , You threatened when i was young, and in my youngsters i was scared , shitless to tell you the truth.Now i am older and much wiser to the ways of the world , I need not of feared you were only a control freak, A manipulating,
Bullies. As soon as i stood tall , boy did you fall , You cannot treat people how you did with me,
You had nearly 30 years of me, &  What did you do , you never believed in me, You always thought
wrongly , of me, I see why now, but i am not, just any one ,else,  I am ME, Genuine , silly happy loyal ,
We had a lot of fun before the rot set in , doesn`t everyone, Its called the honey moon Period ,
Even though we were soul mates , and sorry will always be. I have questions for you , when i see you , In my Dreams , You came a few times to help I know i seen the messages and i seen the signs.
Thank you , i know you will forever be at my side, As i was yours in Life , every single step ,
I was always by your side , You taught me plenty , As now i know, I taught You, Life , Life Life.
A round and around it goes , some times slowly some times too fast, Watch though for everything , for sure there is a lesson to learn from something , Everything round about you , everything is for looking, Not Judging , yes say your opinion, If its only poison from your mouth just dont talk,
Yes be a devils advocate,! better? the 2, not drown? them both, So there is nothing left!!. You tried to numb and dumb me , And you very nearly succeeded, Till it was decided , I have been here before , ha , get myself away , so i did ,and higher beings would not let it be , you cannot treat another how you went about treating me. Out of my murky waters i have risen , and its not been easy, far from it,
everything seems to have been sent to knock me full out not just for 6, Full out ,. Hmm Why would you want to do that to me, Love is that what it was ?? No that definitely wasn`t Love, Even the words
you spoke , they even spewed out of your mouth with such venom , that it knocked me full back,
Still i came back for more , so i am a gluten for punishment, is this something deep inside of me,
that allows myself to be led and treated and abused the way i was , No, I must just be a right lucky bastard lol :). yes i will stick with that , my cups always half full now, i would never want it over flowing cause that would be a waste the stuff that went over the top , i will say it went were it was to go , right Over my head .
For now i do know i am a right lucky  bastard & A Legal one at that lol!!! That is a joke :))
Its through all the lessons that life has taught me , my cup does over flow and i give what is over flowing to everyone, especially if they need some light. How dare you decide my path, how dare you .
its ok though i forgive you, & Even go as far to Thank you, so very very much .