Looking Back

Looking backwards , over the years ,my have they flown, so many days , in a haze,, Too many , to care to remember, The experiences, I Have went through, You could not read from a book , the drugs , death, Not all bad people take drugs, Some of the nicest people i know take drugs, its the type of drug,, You will find the persons change with the drugs, In more ways than 1 and on so many levels,
Acid, Ecstasy, Mushrooms, Cannabis, Oils , Powders, fast slow, fast, up and down like a yoyo, your head ,, Like a computer or a gaming machine and you have won the top prize, O the feelings are great,,,, Its the after wards , Can you, Handle such an insight, It can be life changing,
 Once you have had your eyes opened to this gate,
 Then of course , Your Health ,
You dont think of these at the time , too busy getting stoned, or out to partyyy,,, I Liked to dance and rave , Those days were such fun, i got insights from it all, I gave messages , had a ball, never thought of 20 years down the line , Too busy living ,, making mistakes, loads of mistakes , This is why i share, So someone can see, they are never alone, Anyone it doesn`t matter to me , if it gives you a life line then grab away, It is great when you are high, nothing beats it, You might think ?? O believe me , You relay cannot beat being hi on LIFE,, If I Knew now , what i know now , I would have Ran,ran , and never came back , Its true , They relay do not work , When you are older, and ill, the drugs they just do not work, Why " I hear you say, You have killed of all your natural receptors, All your natural , endorphins, Your inner being , How do you , stand after being so stoned, It is easy i say , Only because i have been there, O have i been there ,, & I would definitely recommend , NOT To Do Drugs, This inner you, Your guts, your intuition,Lucky mines is so strong, I got so much more than everyone else , I Got real insight into what was to come, Due to being stoned , I was never sure , from one day to the next, So never knew , which path i would be on ,I could wake and what drug was there i would take, keep me up or down, I was such a fool, I have lost also  big time, that is how i can share and say what i say , due to i have relay done that, and so much more, The life, Will-full, Blindness, Wilfuly blind,  Whilst , or when i was sleeping , The two lives were hard to separate, Its , I done it though, I can definitely say that, The path was real , and very very bumpy , now why would you want your life , Like this, it truly is the damage being awake, The path was never promised to be straight , That i will assure everyone on that , It was a laugh, tears , sad, Exciting & Daft.
We had so much more to give , we should of could of would of , And if my auntie was a man , he would be my uncle,.
The more i question , some things the less, time, I need to go with the flow, Even if its only for a little while, I want to join the dance, I feel rather , weird after all these years, I cannot seem to dance.
My feet are stuck still, my fingers they rattle the keys , At some speed sometimes , I have loads still all in pen, I need to transfer , from paper to here, The tales i could tell, I do not want to dwell, its been a blast, I need to tell , what comes to me . No time for rubbish, Not now, Too Much happening, Like a big stair gate , One giant step , I made that leap i thought years ago , I relay did, Only to end up ill,
The drugs do not work , They hold you back, i was so dumb Comfortably Numb , Springs to mind, yes i was comfie for years , I just got too comfie, & Missed out on so so much now i know, What i know, I didnt relay miss out, due to i had my life the way it was , I was never a shy child , so why be a shy adult, I have a Vast Knowledge a very extensive Loads of volumes of encyclopedias, In My Head , What am i thinking , I need to get sharing, I relay believe the more far fetched we can get, if it is plausible it  is possible, Tonight i listened to a radio show, Time machines O yes please , i want one of those. O what would we find , The world is your oyster , and you are the pearl, Now go for , it , My stair gate has just blown clean of its hinges, for all i know is not in vain , it is for our Children`s future ,
I Just know i have too share , no matter how sore , and its been sore , Losing big time , Stops you in your tracks , stops you , Then you have time to reflect, &  Things just jump in to rewind , or fast forward , my dream of late have been so far blown i have actually been scared to talk, not now , as my fingers , type the words the other words, come flying, My Brain a magnate, It is relay heavy.
Knowledge is educational,,,,  Education , is knowledge , this leads me to the beauty , in life , There is so much to give and receive , it is in all of us , not just me all of us , yes i have some power , nothing compared , To the World, It relay is Great I can talk of almost everything, Cancer to CERN, My Brain is full of everything , racing around , now lieing on this paper , this computer. All my thought,s
Are they of any use , To any one , am i explaining myself properly for you to understand, It is sometimes like a quick sand , the light come fast , and this is when i relay must share, All that i know, I try , I do no know even why, Every thing has a reason, good and bad, The lights are always there ,
No matter how black you get , Remember remember ,There is always a light , some were near you , They might not seem like it, It might not seem it but it is there , you have to look , & Decipher the lessons , just how i did, Everyone does , that is life, I believe we also have a book or two in each and everyone of us, I go each day , some it feels by the skin of my teeth, I do it , I only know how, & That is not that clear to me, just to go with the what is, to the what was , is another chapter in my book,  I look forward to sharing my insights , I have got loads, Child birth , throughout , Another of my favorite topics , Children, They are such a light each,  of them just gorgeous, Such a joy , makes me swell with pride, my baby`s all grown , And some sadness , lots of sadness, Lots of happy times also , Loads of every time you can think off,.. Life should be a Blast , I should of hit the ground running for all that is in me, It took this long to decipher, I am all of that, & Some, Quite scary,
My Tummy is jumping with excitement, I cannot wait to share properly , To find the true me , and be all that . & More , Just to be me , My Tummy's doing back-flips. Now time to jump of, Find another porthole, My Dream life now awaits me , I must go & See  what the dreams have to say , yet i feel So wide awake , You are a long time dead, Is this dream life of mines a Porthole to the other side, it is definitely, A Porthole of some kind , Maybe just a big black  hole, No I know it is not , For people are now speaking of my thoughts , siphoning, Emotionally charged , Very passionate, I slip through life , each and every day , It feels like , I do not relay of-course, I am on Solid ground, have been all my life , It has been real, I can definitely say that, Nothing too much , I have survived it all, Upto this point in time, My Higher beings do look out for me and am i very Grateful for them :). They are what keeps me on my toes , so to speak , My Tummy dancing tells me some thing is a brewing , As i Glide through life, Tip toeing as i go , Thud thud thud , its like dancing with big wellie boots on , Some days then others are , just amazing and i can feel so much love and light for everyone , I can feel so much my feelings are on Hyper alert, My Intuition telling me some thing is a coming, & Not to worry , that is for sure , One thing i had to  learn, that is do not worry , for all it does is makes you ill, & grey ,
let things go with the flow, When you feel your tummy , stop and think ask why it feels how and why it feels what it feels , is it me feeling you or you feeling me, It is all very exciting ), I love sharing , It feels so right, Especially when everything feels so wrong, It mixes everything up just dandy so to speak , for it all to fall back into place, I will enjoy this , I tell myself , and i will and i do , i love the me in you, and the you in me, I love to love, I live to love, and share , All that i know, so let me ask you , is that so wrong, No I did not think so we are all as one , getting by as best we can, everyone of us different and unique, All of us trying , Is that not better than to not try at all, Yes i would, and do, think so, Life is for sharing , and some , Life is for caring , and some , I have relay done it all , I have even written the book lol :). Now i wont more , I like this feeling , new, beginnings, Ch-ears, I raise a Glass to you all, Nod my head and i am of out of here and away to my bed .              
Of books,  Dreams tonight will be on here some day for all to see , Dream big , I wish i always did , instead of finding out at such a late stage in life , Enjoy all that you do , then it is never work and you will feel the day just runs away , away with all your life, So busy having fun , too busy too reflect? Just be careful , Is what i speak , I beg of you , please please be careful ,Life is for living , Not for reflection, admire when you are dead , You are a long time dead?? Or are we , we will not know till we go to the other side, I have seen a bit and it did look heavenly , I went back but it wasnt for me this time, So I turned back, That is why i share my story`s. Give any one some insight to what, is to what was , life .