Cold heart

As i sit and think of times gone by , The laughs , The tears, The happiness, The Noise.
Silent , is the night , as i think of you, My Heart aches just to have you by my side,
I wish , we could turn back the clocks, bring you back , it is not to be, Even though,
I Loved you, I loved enough i thought i gave you my all for you , to throw at me,
Emotionally leaving me drained, And blinded , Thinking You relay Loved me, NO.
You did not , you might of thought you did, but you just dont treat someone any one ,
like how you done, Saddens me to think that is relay what you think or thought,
Now we are miles apart, separated by life, Should have been still going so strong,
Something deep in my soul just said enough is enough, I cannot be your emotional,
punchbag, I have been there before, and it definitely wasn`t fun. One of the greatest and
saddest times of my life, I thought you were so different, O How wrong can I get,

As i sit and listen to songs we both listened to , I remember the laughs, we had a good few,
it was never good enough was it, I wasn`t what you truly want. and you were never what ,
I thought you were, That is what thought gets me. I am much happier , i am free,
yes as free as a bird, I dont think i am to be captured and kept in a little cage,.
I am lightening on My Feet , Happier on My Own, No worries have i done anything wrong,
Walking on egg shells is defiantly not for me, You see i have been there before, and
will not return, To a caged life, I know i am better than that and i am not letting,
anyone treat me how you done.
Do You relay think i deserved all of that, all the fussing and fighting , the nastiness,
Was tasteless, It did not amuse me , You seemed to relay enjoy seeing my tears,
 is that your thing, You were good, You near had me, 6 foot under. The pain was heavy,
I have been here before , Pain is second nature to me, I Know i am worth much better,
than you could ever give me, All i wanted was your time , O how wrong of me,
It is okay, for i wont return,I am emotionally drained, That was you, That done that to me.
Are you relay happy, I am not at your side , You were never truly at mines, Shame,
wasted my time on someone like you, shame shame shame & I would of gave you so much,
Like i done, There was so much more to come, It was never good enough, You mocked
everything, Not a word to say that was good for anyone. To me that is truly sad, You cannot
say i never tried , How i tried , you were too blind, to see, now you do, not have me, Will
you even notice, No, I dont think so, you are to wrapped up in yourself. You will blame me.
Like you blame every one else except for yourself, it is never you , O No, Could`t be.

I dont know wether to pity you , or what i relay dont know what to think except of all you done.
It wasnt much but boy did it hurt, It was enough for me. Time to make my escape,
You cannot say i did not try, For i relay loved you, I put so much on the plate, You
took it all nothing in return , just your nasty tongue, & nasty thought`s, That is all they were ,
were thoughts , Yes some put into your head , by someone who is too negative for me, You seemed to thrive on every word , Now as i sit and reflect, On all that you done, No more tears, that
is for sure, you have totally drained me. No More pity for you, sadness yes, You chose what you wanted to do, I hope it all works out. I know it wont , that is another thing you were to blind to see,
Just how twisted it all got , yes i am gonna write about it, I have to to get it off my chest,
The weight of your words, They cut deeper than any knife, Now that knife has severed the ties,
That bonded, me to you, You squashed it good and true , you totally flattened it, Any
respect i had for you is gone, You definitely were not who i thought you were, To Me.
Just aswell we find out now, I could not expect any one to look upto you, You hold
yourself in such high regard, It saddens me to watch you sink , I tried to help you,
I relay did, it wasn`t to be, So I bow out gracefully & Thank you . Once again , for relay
I am much stronger than i thought i would ever be, Took a lot to keep back.

Knowing you are sitting by yourself when you could so have easily have been with me, maybe
it was me, maybe i read all the signs wrong , I should of ran away, At the very first sight,
Of you angry, No I thought i would stay and fight for what i was fighting for was a very worthy cause, That is how you got the defensive me, you asked for her, with all your accusations and
down right lies, You told me 1 time you were not a very nice person , I thought and said at the time especially to myself, No I know someone else, I can see the good in you, you have no Faith.
I cannot relay blame you, so many lies , no wonder your head questions every little detail,
Mirror it, the whole lot, You have now lost what i wanted to be to you.

It breaks me and it broke me to think you were never on my wave length, And i definitly,
do not want to be on yours. Now i have seen and heard all there is, Sad yes very very sad.
One day , one sunny day you will realize, I was far from desperate as you now know,
I have plenty of admirers, I am A very timid person normally, You twisted everything,
I had ever known and turned it into your disgusting thoughts , even having the cheek,
 of accusing me, Of so much , no now you know i have my own , Everything .
I definitly dont want for anything , As you now know, It Must make you feel so sad, then again ,
it wont you only think of you, And how wronged you have been , Not the wrong you
have done , O No Mr Perfect, sorry you are far from it, It Pains me to think of all
makes me angry ,  Not now though i have turned that anger into forgiveness.
I Pity you relay i do , Even that is wasting my time, every second you are in my thoughts,
I quickly chase you away, Blowing like a wind , blowing all you right out of my life.
I can even laugh at how miserable you all are , I couldn`t laugh for a wee while because of you,
Now i shrug my shoulders and wonder why did i come near, I should not have,

I will now, though never, let any one treat me, how you done ever, I have risen, From
a cold heart, To find i have a great heart , it is so full of love , and i will share it, How i
was supposed to do , its not just for the 1, My Love and Laugh is infectious, Do you,
know how? Do you even understand, its because i am real , you are too busy,
 bringing others down, I cannot live like that for i want to see, the good, In Everyone.
Till they show me different, Did you relay think i was that stupid, Now you know ,
am far from it, I can see as much as you if not more, in a different way, I have a diffrent,
Understanding , of all the ways now.

Totally different, You changed me, this no one likes, It is okay though , for i will survive,
I always do. I have been to hell and back many a time , I even have my on room,
You would probably agree, because you relay cannot see , all that i see, I am so glad ,
i see what i seen , for it let me know so much , too much at the time, give me time to process,
It all , It was all about you, You selfish little , I could swear but i wont lower my self,
Instead i will laugh at the silliness of it all , And when i said , to you , if i have nothing good, to
say, i do not talk at all. You should have listened a bit more too , To me, instead of stupid lies.
You no know they were all lies , yet you still had to keep on kicking and emotionally,
Draining all of me , Even down to my weight , You made me so confused,Due to the lies
The rubbish you spout hahah, Yip I can laugh , and i will and so will others , that relay
gets to you what others think , I couldn't give a shit , I am on this planet to live not for someone else not for you, for me and mines , You made me cold , I hope you are happy, with what you done.
As you sit there on your chair , looking around , you wont see me , you might see my ghost ,
In the shadows watching over you, If only you had the right way to thik , you would have seen
the Angel in me, Sorry you missed it, It is gone now like me only the memories,
I have wiped out even the pictures, so as that in my life is history that is not getting kept.
I usually never get rid of a picture, I had too, For all that i had done, You turned that nasty.
I could not even answer, dont flatter yourself though for i was never checking up on you ,
I do not have to be sneaky , I can feel your lies , from afar, Yip I can feel to ruddy much, Now ,
I wont be seeing or being in-touch, I have wiped you from my life, For all that was said and done,
was a lie, all based on lies , You were never yourself , too busy worrying what others are thinking you spoiled so much. Love I have plenty , And i ill share it , My Children they come first, In all
that happens in life they truly come first. Love light and Peace