Lovely

Were did the Love go, Not round that corner, nor that one, Were are you, I have searched so hard, my heart is heavy , Was so sad, to watch you miss, The signs, I tried, did i try, But , you , keep doubting,
Kept Doubting , Why , do you not believe , someone to be genuine , I am maybe , more fool me as i have come to learn, The paths of , Love never run Smoothly , But someone putting in the mix , none no favors , I am Hurt , So Hurt , You Did not have the Faith in me,I Know you are going to sit there and think, Why did , you have to do what you done , You pulled everything to pieces , pulled and everything i do is wrong , O so wrong in Your eyes, O I wish you had of mirrored so much before we got so far, Not to worry lesson learn`t . I Hear you loud and clear , I should have listened way back ,
I actually thought , you cared , You loved, me , Now i will sit and reflect all , Sad as it makes me ,
I have thanked you, to awakening me to some of the ways , of this World, thank fully not everyone i know lives your life, I definitely, am not on your frequency , as a matter i dont think many will be,
You are so correct , You forget, You were once young, naive, i know i was, I led quite a shelterd,
life compared,  Thank fully my friends , Are not of your`s. You were and always will hold a special place in my heart for you let me see, You stripped  my ego my being completely bare , I always ,
forgive , Forgetting now, that is a different story , It is hard to forget what you ment to me , all
I wanted was to show you, how, No, that was not good ,enough, i had to be after, something , some kind of plan, Shame, you will never know what could of been, You may think and even imagine, I cannot go back and neither can you, for you have done a lot , Of mixing , getting things wrong, You are,
now getting the blame,You messed with my head , When i was low, did you think to stop kicking , no not once, You went on the lies, and you enjoyed what you done, spitting words at me, That soon
you were to understand, not fully for you will never know, Just what you dont to my head , at the time , not now , now i am stronger for everything i heard, everything, was so twisted and untrue, spoke
with such venom, I wasn`t stealing you, Far from it , I was adding to you , So many warned me and asked me , why, I was confused as to why , not now, .
They say nothing happens by coincidence, I relay wonder if that is true, Was i to learn these lessons fast , I sure was , As per i did not decipher fast enough, Now i feel blue, I will get over it, as,
I always do.

I always have , You were another lesson i was to learn so fast, lessons not just 1, What i know for sure , I will quote , Laugh with many but Trust no one, That is just 1, I taught you so much , you
were to busy doubting my every move, You never even saw , what was in store for you,Blinded
by lies. Of-course i am hurt , I was hurt , I suppose it will be a wee scar on my heart , Definitely not my ego , you flattened that . I am not a shell though far from it, And the right know, I should never have came near you, A glutton for Punishment . Have a great laugh, you got all and more , So
I have been told, yes your gossip is reaching my ears , o how sad and vulgar your mouth, When
you feel you have been wronged , not a thought for the other , no , just you , and how every thing effects you, Not a thought not a care. Yes i am sorry I came near , Spoiled , your dream,
Of me , No I am not that person , you imagines for i know i am much better than that, & Now you
know it too, sad it has took you this long. To see through all the Bull.

Now you have pushed me to far, I would have come running , if i hadnt went on a hunch, You
even lied 3 times there too , Without even realizing , just what you were saying , sorry i caught you on the hop , I am Truly I am . I thought you were so different , my how wrong could i be,
The emotional scars you cost me, and now you sit and think of me while you are hurting, When
all you done was kicked me, You willingly take my Everything all i have to give, then you go and do something totally stupid, & The best of it is you cannot see , You are still kicking me everything i do is wrong , To you , you talk of things you know nothing about , yet you think you know it all.
We should have parted ways years ago as our paths did not cross, we crossed , so much,
yet so near and so far. Your mind forever playing games , sorry , i haven`t the time left to,
play silly school games, i haven`t got another 30 years to prove to any one , & neither i should have to be, proofing myself to you, yet i did like a fool , I had to , I couldn`t leave all that rubbish in your head.

Now , I will not Mix, No more talkin of you, You hurt me good 1 bitten twice shy, I was so shy,
and so scared. Yet you seemed to enjoy seeing me in a state? You seen and caused me a great deal of grief, with your horrid words. Not a thought as to who might hear , no not a care, No one,
can look upto you, you hold yourself , in such high regard, When u tumble it will be from a height , you put yourself there, with your talk and listening to others , Talk No You are not someone special.
Yes you are just any one, I have been asking and it is not nice, people are mocking me , for even coming near. That i can handle , i will laugh it off , for the lessons learn`t . Not all who smile at you are your Friend , watch for the ones dressed as sheep, for they are relay the wolves , the sneaks,
Sad we have to watch everyone around us in this manner, its so true , it is sad, I am still going to be me. I have changed people inform me, o yip i have changed , if you had been through what i have been through i think , it would definitely change you.
The love of my children is unconditional , I will never stray far, I am forever at their side at every leap they take and i will keep on being there as long as i breathe , for i want the best for my Children , Not second or third , Only the best, I will Give them the Tools and the Ammo for life its up to them how they decipher, their lessons that they have to learn. I just hope all that i have learn`t they have been listening , I know they have , they tell me it all , every little thing , people forget remember the children forget nothing at all. Little elephants , Keep every thing stored and even blow me away, With what
is actually remembered in their brains. For my children alone i have to be an example,
And i have to sift through , who is right and wrong for us , not just me. I cannot afford for them to see some things , yes i will tell them but not show, Only Words to explain, of which , I wil do my best , to keep my children from straying of their track. i cannot stop their hstory but i can cushion the
blows, Maybe i am doing wrong but it feels right , so i will go with my intuition and my children`s word, Children are very good judges of characters, espcal y ones who are not what they seem,
Children can spot these , Roaches clean and very fast , especially if they are coming into their,
Home.
Life is a bitch and then you marry 1 , is a saying i use quite a lot, Maybe i should not use it any more,
Words can hurt , without even realizing , This i have learn`t the hard way , but i am thank full for all lessons, i learn it brings me closer to who i truly am . Light & Peace , is Love and that i have plenty of , People know me for sharing , because that is what has become of me throughout the years,
I will shed light on any ones darkness as i have said to many and many times , The light and the love is for sharing . There is different, types of love , I Posses all of them its just pouring from me.
To Not see , I know you can feel , you told me so , I do feel & care to much , I Know i do and that
is why , I am Getting on and sharing with the ones who matter , they are always there no
doubts just wanting to see me, Not for any thing but my company . Now isn`t that nice .
LOVELY, It is so refreshing to be wanted just for me , No Hidden agenda`s in My Pride.
O its so nice to be of my kind , to help out were an when i am wanted is what makes me.
Some are too selfish for this act, you can only give so much and take so much , without ever giving back , That is not right , you should never look for something in return for any thing that you do , it should be from the heart , not an ulterior motive, am Just saying be careful cause there is loads ,
of people like that looking for something and giving nothing in return and still expecting more , even after all that , and silly me i would probably jump at the chance , I was going too, again more fool
me.  This is not finished yet for my heart is scared and i am far from happy how and what you done.
I will return to this one fine day and you will return with me , & you will see , just what you truly could of had All for you in me. My Heart was vulnerable, so blinded by History , yet you never shed any light no you , Put out the light, Or should i say you tried , till i realized all your talk was of rubbish.
It definitely wasn`t me . Now you will see, What could have been if only you had of had Faith in me,
Of-course i got scared always u seemed to be hurting me, No It wasn`t hurt you were trying to make me see,?? Its ok I can see so much clearer without the tears obscuring my way. Each to their own , and I so chose you, now i slap myself and say , Why did I Put myself through that?, I cannot,
answer. All I Know is , You hurt me good . Not so good O no Far from it , You truly are sad,
I know one day you wont even know of what you put me through, all i had to prove back all your viscous lies . Life is for the living , and definitely not for mocking the dead . That has to be a sin itself .
Out of your head , You still are , and always will be , no more help from me you are there already well before you met me. Love is the answer to your life . You need someone to show you, You would,
not see , Your dirty mind would not let you, O so sad, Your brain is, Twisting everything ever said and you say its me , Go On make it worse keep it going , never shutting up that is what i have become to know as you, no matter what , it sits and ferments like a poison, in your head , growing arms and legs so fast no one else has time to think . You stick like glue to your dirty we thought`s , I have bigger fish,
to fry , you a little Goldfish in this sea called life 1 little blip that is all we all r relay , Let me see , how the fish grow , and story`s grow , almost as big as a tree or as high as the sky they go , not a doubt in your head, it could very wellbe wrong but nope you are never wrong , ever , I mean to say,
All the best with that1 , Life is a continuation , your soul wonders free, whilst you sleep.
Comes back and fils in all the holes that you thought deep, All Covered nothing to hide , stand back nothing to see here either, Its only a fable a story of what could of been, A Book inside all written.
The end chapter in sight , All is looking good , For some things , but that is life , You live and people come and go now that is what is being real .Love Light & peace :)